Author Questions and Answers!

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1. What made you think you should write a book?

We were off school because all the teachers were on a training day. (Ha ha! I thought they were supposed to TEACH not learn!) Anyway the postman had left a parcel at our house for number 13 so I took it round to the grumpy old man that lives there. I made him open it, and it was a parcel of books that were ALL THE SAME! It turns out he writes MURDEROUS MATHS books and he was getting lots of copies of his own book. Honestly, how sad was that?
Anyway I asked him what his next book was about and he said he didnít know. So then I said he should write about our school and I told him about the time Marthaís head floated away and exploded and he just typed it all out. And he gave me a cup of tea and three biscuits, so that was my author wages I suppose. It was better than nothing which is what heíd have got if I hadnít been there ha ha!

2. How would you describe your first book?

Not very big, but bigger than ďDuckís Happy DayĒ which only has four pages and a squeaker thing in the back, only ours doesnít work any more because I dropped it in the bath when I was aged 2. Pity, that book was well cool. Oh, and my book has 10,134 words in it which sounds a lot, but if you read it fast you can do it in about an hour. My friend Ivy said she read it in 2 minutes, but sheís lying, she only looked at the pictures to see if there was one of her doing the splits! (There isnít by the way which is a good job because when she does it, it looks like her legís coming off EEKY FREAK!)

3. Who is your favourite person in the books?

Ivyís completely nuts and always swings on her washing line then jumps over her garden gate, so WAHOO GO IVY! We love Ivy. Big jolly Martha is good too, although she gets a bit poorly from eating octopus paste in the Floating Head book. Then thereís the teachers including our teacher Miss Pingle who canít work computers (ha ha!) and her hair changes colour every week. This week itís olive green by the way. HmmmÖ itís daring and yet refined. Iíd give it 7/10.

4. How long did it take you to write your first book?

AGES! Well I didnít exactly write it, I just talked and the old man typed it out, but it took almost the whole afternoon. It would have been quicker if he hadnít kept stopping to check if heíd got any emails, but he never had. (What a loser! )

5. Where do you go to get ideas for your books?

I go to Odd Street School which is at the end of Odd Street where I live. Some people have to fly round the world to get good ideas for stories, but I don't need to do that!
Our school has got lots of good things that happen like when Miss Wizzit on reception accidentally stapled her thumb to the notice board. (And youíre not allowed to laugh at that because it isnít funny. Well all right, it IS funny but if she so much as catches you smiling, youíll be DEAD.)

6. What other books have you written?

So far Iíve written out most of the words in my spelling book. Iíve also filled about 12 numeracy books, 9 literacy books and once did a project about how the sun makes plants grow which Miss Barking gave me a gold star for. And a gold star from Miss B is a lot harder to get than the Guardian Book of the Year award I can tell you, so there.

7. Are you going to do any more books?

Maybe. Well actually I've told the grumpy old man six stories which he has typed out for me, but so far but the printers haven't printed them all yet because they're a bit slow ha ha! By the way, my Floating Head book is coming out in other languages including RUSSIAN! My name will be something like Agasti Parroski. How cool is that? YAHOO! I can't wait to read it, even if I can't actually read it, if you know what I mean.

THANKS for reading all my author questions!